


Do you remember the moment that changed your life?

by ImmortalAcorn



Series: Memories of Draco Malfoy [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Brief Mentions of Blood, Drabble, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Memories, Open to Interpretation, Other, POV Draco Malfoy, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 06:58:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn
Summary: He had to live, I knew. Without him there would not be much to see. I guess the world would be just ashes and smoke and blood - that's at least how I imagined it.He had to live.Whatever it would take





	Do you remember the moment that changed your life?

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes.

Yes. I remember. 

***

I knew it was him. How could I not?  
I didn't tell them. I didn't want to be cold again, feel his amusement and joy from something so wrong. I didn't want to see anyone else dying in this house.  
I was wrong though. Many people died there after.  
But he had to live, I knew. Without him there would not be much to see. I guess the world would be just ashes and smoke and blood - that's at least how I imagined it. He had to live. Whatever it would take.  
So I didn't say much.  
‘I dont't know… I'm not sure.’  
‘Look at him closely Draco.’  
So I looked even closer into those eyes. Yes, of course it was him. I wanted to scream, either that I recognised him or to just let me fucking sleep. Or both. Maybe it was because of my tired state I was in at the time that I lost my mind and ultimately everything else. Instead I was just looking at him closer and closer and closer and the green was greener and the ringing in my ears turned into screams.  
Then everything went in a blur. I don't even know how I lost my wand. Did I fight? Did I give it up willingly? I can't remember. And it's not important, really.  
They left. We stayed. He came. And then there was blood and screams. And more blood.

***

Was it worth it? Sometimes… only sometimes I ask myself the same question.  
I can't say I know the answer. Right when the blood started flowing I wanted to take it all back and shout: ‘It's him, it's him!’  
When he lied in Hagrid's arms I was thinking it was all for nothing.  
When I was taken to Azkaban I wanted to cry from misery and relief at the same time. I didn`t want to be there, yet I was glad I didn't have to see anyone for a while and could sulk over every poor decision I have ever made. It was fun, I must say. But I was never counting that one among them. Yes, it was probably stupid on many levels. I just couldn't bring myself to look at that particular moment as something done out of stupidity.  
It was fear leading me that night. I was afraid of so many things. I still am. But some of those things are dead and some might not be as scary now. And of course, there are new fears, new traumas, new nightmares.  
In great scheme of things they mean nothing.  
Because we survived.  
And he is alive.

So… Was it worth it?


End file.
